The Connection Newsletter 20 - Time

Hello!

This is edition #20 of

The Connection

, the weekly email I send family, friends, and future friends (hello!) Glad you're here.

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First, two articles this week:

I wrote about what it takes to be successful at something. I think it’s less about finding the right “hack” (so hot right now), and more about matching expectation to effort:

To be successful (at everything, anything) there’s a cost. First, we have to uncover the cost. Second, we evaluate if we’re willing to pay that cost. Third, if the answer is yes, we find a way to close the gap. You can read the article here.

Second, I wrote a

40 Ways to Stop Wasting Time and Get More Done

. I started collecting this list in college, when I realized I said I wanted to be a writer… and realized I spent very little time writing. Over the last 10 years, I’ve added, tweaked, and killed different ideas on this list.

Now, onto this week’s articles. I only wanted to cover 3 this week, and spend a bit more time unpacking them. Here we go:

...

The psychology of bad tippers

. This is fascinating. Most interesting quote:

“I just don’t feel the need to tip that much. I spend a lot on food and alcohol and travel because I enjoy those things. I’ll tip a little bit but I don’t feel like I need to tip a lot… I’m not going to be rude and say I don’t care, but I actually really don’t care. That’s not my concern. I don’t know you. You chose that profession.”

Years ago, I didn’t know if I’d ever have children. But if I did, I knew they’d

all follow one rule: they have to wait tables at some point.

Waiting tables teaches you perspective. Your dressing on the side isn’t that important in the grand scheme of things.

Waiting tables teaches you that life isn’t fair.

It doesn’t matter how much (or how little) money I make in the future. Getting an 8% tip on a 10-top that you busted your ass over is a punch in the gut you never forget. Similarly, it’s hard to explain the elation of a $20 tip on a $7 check.

Most importantly, waiting tables teaches you empathy.

It teaches you how to care. Even if you don’t know the person. No matter what profession someone happened to choose.

Those ^^^ are the lessons I’d want my kids to learn.

...

The Happiness Index is real

. This is a great explanation (and visualization) behind the idea that “money can’t buy happiness.” Because

of

course

it can,

to an extent.

When you’re struggling to pay off credit card debt or scratching up rent, money IS happiness.

However, after you’ve solved those challenges, money can’t buy the things that lead to continued fulfillment. In fact, at certain levels the pursuit of money is

negatively correlated with happiness (e.g. people obtain great career and financial success, but at the cost of friendship and family).

In short: the sweet spot of happiness lies somewhere in the middle of having enough money, but not too much.

…

“...it’s how you play the game.”

In this interview with Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson unpacks the phrase: “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game” (kicks off at 41:20). I thought he nailed this concept quite eloquently. Paraphrased below:

“It's like you tell your kid that and they look at you and they think, well, what do you mean by that? Aren't I supposed to try to win the soccer game? I'm supposed to win... This is how it works: “So first of all, life is not a game. Even a game is not a game because the game is most of the time the beginning of a series of games. “Let's say that you're on a soccer team. Well, there's winning the game, but the game isn't the issue. The game is the whole series of games. So maybe the game is winning the championship. But winning the championship and winning a game

are

not the same thing. “The reason for that is, well maybe if you want to win a game, the best thing to do is to let your star player make all the moves. But if you want to win a championship, maybe the best thing is for your star player to do everything he or she possibly can to develop all the other team members. That's a different strategy. “What you're saying is: Don't forget, what you're trying to do here is to do well at life and you need to practice the strategies that enable you to do well at life while you're in any specific game. You never want to compromise your ability to do well at life for the sake of winning a single game.”

Thanks for reading!

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